Living in a refugee camp as a child, the camp is all I knew, and at times - parents would tell their children that there just in a camp for a short time and will eventually go home. As a child, I listened and waited for the day to go home... but we never did. That place became home.
The trauma you develop as a kid living in the refugee camp in comparison to thousands of other children your age living life, going to the beach with their parents holding pizza in their hands (I saw this on TV at a young age and this image never left me). Do people go on road trips because they are tired of sleeping in the comfort of their home? There has to be other reasons, I thought.
The amount of anger I felt when people left the comfort of their home to go sleep elsewhere is something that I never thought I would ever let go. So when I was asked if I would go camping. It took me back to my childhood, to my experience as a camper that was not necessarily the way of rest, but a way of life that no human being would voluntarily choose.
I said yes to going camping. I questioned myself: have I gone mad?
But I love nature. Do I limit myself from these experiences because I do not like them or could it be because I fear what I do not understand? Am I my own enemy because of the negative experiences I have seen? Could nature be this harsh and ugly or is the experience humanity created for me that makes camping look bad?
Finally, I am on a camping ground and I am loving it so much! In the middle of the night, I am fascinated by the fact that I am in nature, hearing the sounds of nature at best. My emotions begin to cripple in. As a I laid in a tent, I allowed myself to feel all my memories, listening to my heart, and carefully removing the barriers I have placed on myself. I accepted to not hold on to my fear and instead wanted to embrace what is already inside of me; that nature is me and I am nature.
My weekend camping with Fridie Outdoors allowed me to feel, hear, smell and reconnect with myself in a way that I never imagined possible. I was no longer the kid who stood behind the fence in a camp, scarred to look at the world I did not know. I was an adult that decided to re-visit the very nature that hosted my youth in effort to embrace my growth. I was a camper that weekend. Unlike my younger years in a camp. This time - I truly enjoyed my stay. Needless to say, I have my gears ready for outdoors and behold: we outside outside!
